The electric anticipation is the first rush. That sensation of almost being able to feel their body under my fingers, almost being able to see the eagerness, blended with slight apprehension, in their eyes. Before I even start they will be looking for my pleasure in all this to strengthen their desire for the torture to come – and, oh, they will find it.

If it's a session where my lee is to be immobilised I love to have them sit on the edge of the bed and watch me methodically lay the rope, cuffs, clips and tools on the bedside table as their nervous, excited gaze fuels me. Then I’ll begin to bind them to the bed and to their fate. Once helpless, depending on my mood I'll either start slowly, with just a finger trailing down a sole, watching their reactions go from confidence to annoyance to helpless laughter, or else I'll feel impatient and need to claw my hands into their sides and feel their body spring up and be pulled violently down again by the bonds and my weight pressing down on them. The jolt they feel passes through me when I've hit a particularly sensitive spot, and nothing in the world feels quite like it.

I also, however, enjoy a good old-fashioned, spontaneous ticklefight. Adrenaline pumping as we battle it out, each trying to make the other tap out, or be content to let the tide turn back and forth with no overall winner or loser. The surprise of being grabbed from behind and squeezed just as you thought you had them cornered, driving you to greater heights of sadistic revenge, and the satisfaction of finding and grabbing their bare foot and snaking a finger in between their toes, making them howl and release you is pure magic.

In both situations, the duality of knowing that your lee loves the torture and the game, but is also allowing you to have (or in a ticklefight, have the chance to have) power over them is incredibly gratifying, exciting and addictive. What more can I ask for?

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