Being a sub is, in some ways, one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. To relinquish control not only of your environment but your reactions and, to some extent, mental state is an incredibly intimidating proposition. At the same time it’s also incredibly rewarding and one of the most intense experiences I can imagine. Ultimately though the reason I do it is very simple - for the satisfaction on my Dominant’s face after a session, knowing that I’ve made them happy and performed well for them.

For me there are three main stages to a session - the anticipation and trepidation that comes pre-session as I wait for my Dominant to either arrive or to begin the session proper. The session itself, well, I’ll talk more about that in a minute but I quickly find the world in general falling away, all other cares fading into the background as I focus on the sensations coursing through me and obeying any and all commands given. Once the session is over there’s a sensation of, well, peace. Contentment and satisfaction and rest that’s more intense and complete than anything I’ve ever felt before. The level of those feelings can vary, sometimes I’ll lie quite happily curled up as my Dominant strokes my back and whispers their approval, others I’ll be flying in the clouds, body alive with endorphins and never wanting to come back down.

The session itself is hard to describe as you never quite go through the same session twice. The initial minute or two will be slightly nervous for me as I wonder if this is the time my limits break or that my body or mind will rebel and break the mood. Such things can happen and, while I’m sure we would both be disappointed both my Dominant and I know that there is no blame attached to this and would rather stop and try later than push on into a mental or physical space one or both of us are not comfortable with. Such worries quickly fade though as my Dominant starts to play and experiment with me, warming me up and guiding me onto the path she wishes me to take.

From then on my world focuses on satisfying Her and I have been amazed at what my body and mind can achieve when focused on a single command. Most recently being told not to move or make a sound as twenty hard shots with a wooden paddle landed on my arse seemed an impossibility but somehow I achieved it. While I do not always explore the limits of what I can and can’t do, more often than not this is exactly what happens. I’ve endured pain to the point of collapse, to the point where my body physically cannot support itself anymore, then at a single word from my Dominant pulled myself to my feet for more. Why? Because the look on Her face, the satisfaction and delight in her eyes, can carry me through boundaries that I’d never have thought possible.

Just to be clear, pain itself is not something I seek out or particularly enjoy. It is, ultimately, a tool and a particularly effective one. When combined with verbal commands, taunting, compliments and the subtle (or not so subtle) use of sight and sound it pushes my mind into what is commonly known as ‘sub-space’ - in other words a mindset where pleasing my Dominant becomes, in that moment, not only the most important thing in the world but the ONLY thing in the world. For me this feeling just lasts for the length of the session but there are those who embrace it 24/7 and commit to being a submissive as a lifestyle choice.

Being a submissive is something I was always curious about and, now that I’ve had the chance to experience it, is something that I suspect may always be a part of my life. It is one of the most intense experiences of my life and continues to fascinate me in terms of exploring my limits and learning just what my mind and body can accomplish But far above that is the reaction from my Dominant, their pleasure and satisfaction they gain from my reactions and knowing that I’ve met and, hopefully, exceeded their expectations.

DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE (Registration Required to Post)