BDSM is quite a complicated area so we’ll start with a common definition:

‘a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or DS), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities and forms of interpersonal relationships. While not always overtly sexual in nature, the activities and relationships within a BDSM context are almost always eroticized by the participants in some fashion. Many of these practices fall outside of commonly held social norms regarding sexuality and human relationships.

Many activities can be found under the umbrella of BDSM, which include — but are not limited to — forms of dominance, submission, discipline, punishment, bondage, sexual roleplaying, sexual fetishism, sadomasochism, and power exchange, as well as the full spectrum of mainstream personal and sexual interactions.’

Perhaps more important than what BDSM is, is what BDSM is not. BDSM is not abuse. And abusive relationships aren’t part of BDSM. The main tenant of BDSM is Sane, Safe and Consensual (SSC) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK), which means everyone involves must know the risks, have the mental capacity to understand the risks and consent to what will be done to them.

Within the BDSM Scene everyone is equal: it doesn’t matter if you are a top (Dominant/ler) or bottom (submissive/lee) everyone is respected as an individual who can make their own choices. A bottom will give the top control over themselves (see power exchange) however bottoms are not looked down on because they will do this. Similarly while, at first glance, a scene may seem to be all about the pleasure of the top in truth they will usually be working extremely hard ensuring that the what they are doing is enjoyed by the bottom in the context of the scene and that everything is as safe and controlled as possible.

The etiquette and rules within BDSM are important, however the etiquette is mostly natural when in a BDSM setting, and the rules are mostly common sense. Please look here for more information on the etiquette.

There is also a legal question surrounding BDSM, namely that British law does not recognize the possibility of consenting to bodily injury. Such acts are illegal, even between consenting adults, and these laws are enforced. This is the main reason for there being very few public BDSM play parties in the UK. As a general guideline if you are playing with other people, or with someone you don’t know particularly well, a rule of ‘don’t break the skin’ is probably a safe middle ground to follow. There are very few prosecutions in the UK and we don’t wish to scare anyone away from the BDSM scene but it is important to know all of the facts regarding the scene and make an informed decision on your participation in it.

For more information on the legal situation with regards BDSM we strongly suggest you read this site.

DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE (Registration Required to Post)