10 do’s and don’ts for a fetish relationship

Do

1. 1.Always, always, always communicate with your partner. Tell them what you enjoy, what you don’t enjoy, what you’d like to try and what you really don’t like.
   

2. 2.Come up with a safeword. Even if you never use it, it’s useful to have in the event of a medical or other emergency.
   

3. 3.Set limits. Make sure that you and your partner both know what they can and can’t do to each other.
   

4. 4.If you are in a BDSM relationship especially, decide how much of your fetish will come into your everyday life. Will you only take on your top and bottom roles in the bedroom, at the weekend, or 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?
   

5. 5.If your partner doesn’t share your fetish, ask them if they wouldn’t mind trying it out, perhaps in return for you trying something they would like to try. If not, ask if they mind you finding a play partner, purely to indulge in your fetish, outside your relationship.
   

6. Make sure you know of any medical conditions your partner may have.

7. 7.Make sure you know how to give good aftercare. After an intense session, most people will need at least a hug.
   

8. 8.If you are both switches, agree that any mistakes made during a session are mistakes, and to be forgiven.
   

9. 9.Make sure your partner knows when you are “in character” if you are taking on roles within a session.
   

10. 10.Use common sense, you want to enjoy your relationship and make it a happy one, not upset the other person by doing something stupid!
    

Don’t

1. 1.Go behind your partner’s back to get your fetish fix, even if they don’t share your fetish.
   

2. 2.Bottle up your emotions. If you don’t like the idea of something your partner wants to do, tell them, don’t just go along with it to make them happy. This goes for if there’s something you want to do as well. Communicate.
   

3. 3.Leave someone straight after a session, they will probably want to cuddle while they recover. This close time will also help strengthen your relationship.
   

4. 4.Ridicule any fetish your partner may have. It’s rude, and they didn’t ridicule yours.
   

5. 5.Don’t take out your anger on a sub in a session or “take revenge” for a mistake the other person made in another session.
   

6. 6.Be afraid to drop character and check on your partner during a session. You can always go back into character straight away if they’re ok, and if not, you can do something about it.
   

7. 7.Try something in a session without making sure your partner is ok with it, at least in theory if it’s something new to them.
   

8. 8.Try something in a session without finding out how to do it properly first.
   

9. 9.Don't try to 'gut out' a session if you feel that you're not in the mood or can’t put any negative emotions aside. Genuine anger is to be avoided at all costs and trying to hide it and struggle on almost inevitably leads to issues.
   

10. 10.Don't be afraid to use your safewords if necessary. Your partner will understand, will not think any less of you and, frankly, would rather you told them when you were in trouble.
    

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