Dealing with fetishes can be a tricky business, even just between two consenting adults. Add a more public setting to the mix and things get even more confusing. However there are some basic guidelines to keep in mind:

1. 1)The golden rule for the Fetish scene is fairly simple: “If you enjoy that fetish that’s fine with me, it’s just not something for me.” It’s incredibly rare to find someone who doesn’t shudder in revulsion at the very thought of at least one fetish but anyone who’s been in the scene for more than a few days quickly realises that others may have the same reaction about their fetishes.
   

2. 2)A close second to the golden rule is to always respect your partner. The vast majority of fetishes rely on having a deep trust of the people or person you’re playing with and this applies to both Dominants and Submissives. Communication plays a vital role here and it is critical to be open and honest when discussing your feelings and opinions before and after a scene.
   

3. 3)Never conduct a scene in anger. If you’re not in a good mood and you’re considering doing a scene that involves either giving or receiving pain or playing with someone’s emotional state then postpone the scene until you’re more focused.
   

4. 4)Always discuss a potential scene in detail with your partner(s). Make sure that you all know what is planned, what your limits are and, most importantly, what the safeword(s) are. There are those that argue that no safeword (a phrase or action by the submissive to pause or end the session) should be used as it detracts from the scene but this is a debatable practice when done by very experienced and familiar partners and should not even be considered if you’re not 100% familiar with your partner(s) for a particular session.
   

5. 5)Never be afraid to say ‘no’. This applies to both intimate, private sessions and sessions around larger numbers of people but the worst thing you can do is to participate in a scene that you are uncomfortable with. If you are genuinely concerned about a particular scene or activity then say so, your partner(s) will understand. This even applies during the scene, if you feel that you’re really not enjoying yourself and you feel your attitude shift then make it clear and ask for either a break, an end or a change of scene.
   

6. 6)When at a play party don’t be afraid to talk to others but do respect their privacy as well. If someone is in a session it’s extremely rare that they’ll want to be disturbed but most will be happy to talk to you after the session has finished and all involved have returned to earth. Many will be happy for you to watch a session provided you stay out of the way and keep quiet but make sure to ask first. This goes for any activity involving someone else or their equipment at a party - always ask before doing. Basically, be polite and try to treat everyone how you’d wish to be treated yourself.
   

7. 7)If you are watching a scene at a play party and see something you consider dangerous then do not interrupt the scene yourself. Instead go and find a dungeon master and talk to them about your concerns. In many cases people who are going to do a scene that is intended to be intense or unusual will have talked to the DM before starting a scene and the DM can then make an informed decision whether or not to intervene.
   

8. 8)Be aware of your surroundings when at a play party. Much in the same way you wouldn’t get too close to the pool table in a crowded bar for fear of getting poked with a cue you need to remember that paddles, floggers, crops and especially whips need a fair amount of room when used and you need to make sure you stay out of the way.
   

9. 9)Almost all events, whether a play party, market or munch, will have very strict rules on cameras or other recording devices. Virtually all parties and markets will have a blanket ban on them as it is essential for those attending to know that their privacy is respected.
   

10. 10)Remember that people’s desires, boundaries and expectations can change over time especially as they gain more experience within the fetish scene. It can therefore be worth revisiting certain situations over time, either because their attitude to a certain fetish has become more open or because they’ve realised that a particular scene or fetish isn’t really something they’re interested in after all.
    

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