The invention of the Internet, and its subsequent evolution into a massive social network in a variety of wild and wonderful forms, has given those in the Fetish scene a whole new avenue to meet, form friendships, get to know each other and even establish intimate and long-lasting relationships.

For those entering the fetish scene for the first time the two most common ways of starting to form new friendships are either internet forums such as the UKTF or via Instant Messaging services with people who choose to share their contact details through a web site. By and large the main difference is simply whether or not an individual prefers to focus on one conversation at a time or is willing to join an electronic group. Either way, the same basic rules of etiquette apply on-line as they do in the real world: be yourself, be honest, respect the people you’re talking to and have fun and you’ll find yourself fitting in very quickly.

There are, of course, other ways of meeting, talking and keeping in touch with people. Social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace are often used by members of the Fetish community, although if you’re planning on adding anyone from the Fetish world you may want to do so with a different profile unless you really want all your non-fetish friends to find out about your kink. E-mail, while in some ways outdated by the newer tools, is still unbeatable for writing a longer letter and, of course, is a lot more private than a post on a publicly-available web site. SMS text messages on mobile phones are another common tool, although don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can get away with describing all your fantasies in 160 characters or less if you meet someone in real life.

Relationships with people who are well connected on-line can be surprisingly similar to real-world relationships. In fact the main difference is simply in the level of communication you have. If a friend of yours is on Facebook, an instant messaging program, a forum that you both visit and on a service such as Twitter then you may find yourself talking to them more than you do your real-world friends. Ironically relationships formed through the fetish world can often be stronger and last for longer than many so-called ‘normal’ relationships. Maybe it’s because even the most basic friendship is based on a shared experience and, typically, you’re likely to find people in the fetish world place a great deal of emphasis on communication.

Of course one of the major attractions of the Internet as a relationship tool in the fetish world - the anonymity it offers - is also its biggest failing. You can never be sure that the person you’re talking to is actually an attractive 20-something blonde lass from Northern Ireland when they’re just as likely to be a 20 stone middle age man living with his mother in Northampton. Webcams can be a help here, a live video feed with sound can be very tricky to fake unless someone’s REALLY trying very hard indeed to set you up, but again, use caution. There’s nothing stopping the person on the other end of the line from recording the video so unless you want to end up on YouTube try to resist the urge to do truly perverted things on camera.

Naturally at some point you may want to actually meet your friends in the real world. If and when this happens, do try to exercise some caution, just in case. The legend of the Internet Axe Murderer is, thankfully, rather overblown but even so it’s worth playing it safe. We’ve included some basic tips in our ‘Meeting Safely’ page, although these are targeted more at those meeting for fetish fun than social meetings. The major piece of advice is to make sure that someone always knows where you are, roughly, what time they can expect to hear from you and how long after that they should wait before sending out the bloodhounds.

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